Sunday, January 25, 2015

Updating the Directing Bucket List

So in recent years I've directed INTO THE WOODS, RENT, the '99 version of YOU'RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, THE 39 STEPS... I think it's time for an updated version of my directorial bucket list.

That's right. Just what you've all been waiting for.

HIGH FIDELITY

Adam Mace (@TheRealAdamMace on Twitter) and I are neck-and-neck as to who gets to this one first. One of the most underrated contemporary musical theater scores, and a great story about music and love and love of music, and figuring out how to grow up when you're already in your thirties.

CHESS

Yeah, I'm the one. I love CHESS. I love the score, I love the story, I love the characters, I love the intrigue and cloak-and-daggerness of it. It's a musical about Cold War politics and an international chess tournament, so you understand why it isn't perhaps as mainstream an ABBA musical as MAMMA MIA. But I love CHESS.

DISNEY'S BEAUTY & THE BEAST

Still haven't done it. Maybe the longest-standing show on my list.

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

You want to direct THE PRODUCERS. I want to direct the (imminently flawed) YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. Don't judge. Actually, what I'd really like to direct is BLAZING SADDLES, but... alas.

[title of show]

No, really, that's the actual title. It's a musical about two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical. We'll hand out aspirin at intermission. I have a hunch I'll get to this one sooner rather than later. Four actors and a piano? Sign me up!

IN THE HEIGHTS

Actually, I think I don't actually want to direct this as much as I want to play Usnavi. One tan and one goatee later, and I'm in!

SUNSET BOULEVARD

But only a low-tech version. I've got ideas.

JOSEPH & THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT

One of my first ever favorite musicals. Story theater at its finest. My version involves no Megamix, puppets, and Jawas from STAR WARS. How have I not done this already?

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

Revelation: I apparently like Andrew Lloyd Weber a lot. I'm thinking: a presidential candidate, and YouTube. I don't know what that means, either.

THE BOOK OF MORMON

I think I might have issues with religion. This will have to do until Trey and Matt do a SOUTH PARK stage musical.

SHREK

That's who I'd be too, Shrek. That's who I'd be too.

FROZEN
It's coming. (Oh, relax. That's fan art.)

AVENUE Q

... and until FROZEN gets here, this other Bobby Lopez musical will have to do. (It's almost the same thing. Right?)

AMERICAN IDIOT

I don't think this has a plot. I don't care. Do YOU know the enemy?

I'm sure I forgot something, but this is a good start and I have clothes to go get out of the dryer. These should keep me busy for a couple of years, anyway.

Monday, January 5, 2015

I Invented a Sport

One of the great things about writing fiction, and spec fiction at that, is that you can never guess what the craft is going to ask you to do.

So without further ado, I present to you the rules... of Swaugerball.

  • The game is played on a large ringed field of grass; 3 large rings around a central green. Scattered around the field at random points are boom tubes, and in the center of the field stands the launch tube.

  • At the start of the game the seven man swaugerball teams line up on either side of the field and, at the starting burst, race for the launch tube, the goal being for one person on either side to be first to make it to the launch tube.
    • Swaugerballers may obstruct opposing players with use of a glout, a sort of hard-light luminescent glow stick. Dueling is common.
  • The first swaugerballer to reach the launch post and place hands on it for five seconds becomes the game’s first launcher.
    • When the launch round begins, the launcher’s teammates become slammers and the opposition becomes stuffers.
    • The launch round lasts five minutes.
    • All swaugerballers aside from the launcher are forbidden on the green once the launch round begins. Any swaugerball to encroach upon the green will earn a 5 point penalty for his team.
    • If the launcher steps off the green for any purpose, the launch round is immediately ended and the opposing team
  • Iron balls pop up from the launch tube and the launcher swats them around the field with the glout. As soon as he makes contacts, the ball becomes the glowing swaugerball, luminescent with the characteristic color of the launching team.
  • The launcher, with the glout, launches swaugerballs in the direction of his slammer teammates, who attempt to run the launched swaugerballs down, catch them mid-air, and then race to a boom tube to slam it in for a score.
    • The boom tubes are worth 2, 3, or 4 points respectively, depending upon how far away from the launch tube they are. The further away, the higher the score.
    • A swaugerball may not hit the ground or it is ruled out of play.
  • The stuffers will attempt to deflect the glouted swaugerballs or tackle down slammers with the swaugerball.
    • Stuffers must either catch a swaugerball or knock it to the ground to deaden it. Stuffers can not intercept and score on the other team’s launched swaugerball.
    • Slammers may pass the swaugerball to each other in any direction they like so long as the swaugerball does not hit the ground.
    • A swaugerball may be tossed into a boom tube for a score equal to if it had been placed in the boom tube.
    • The launcher may direct swaugerballs towards the opposing team in an attempt to assist his teammates in reaching a boom tube score.
  • Whenever a boom tube is stuffed, a firework launches up out of it. The launcher may then begin to glout swaugerballs up and into the firework explosion, which triggers another burst of fireworks.
    • The launcher may chain together as many fireworks as they are able; each new link in the chain is worth a half a point, but takes an extra second off of the launch round clock.
  • In the case that the launcher is able to clear the field’s outer wall with a swaugerball, unchainable fireworks are triggered along the stadium’s perimeter. The launcher is, however, permitted a victory dance, upon which the field judges will award him anywhere from 0 to 5 total style points.
    • The launcher’s victory dance may last up to fifteen seconds. All time spent on the victory dance will continue to tick down off the launch round clock.
    • The victory dance is the only time during the launch round during which the launcher is permitted off of the green.
  • In the case that the launcher is able to sink a swaugerball into a boom tube directly off of a glout strike, with no assistance by either the slammers or inadvertent assistance by the stuffers, such a feat is worth 5 points.
  • After the five minute launch round is up, the opposing team can choose to A.) take an automatic two-and-a-half minute launch round, or B.) reset the field in hopes of winning the race-off and earning a five minute launch round.
  • The game continues on until one team has reached 126 points.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Moment-of-Truth Time in Queens

There's a faint beacon of light emanating from Flushing Meadows right now, one we haven't seen since, oh, let's say 2006. You know, nine years ago? That's right, it has been nine years. NINE YEARS.

That's how long it has been since the New York Mets haven't been embarrassing. A few years back, under the shadow of Bernie Madoffs, the Mets brought on board as their general manager one Mr. Sandy Alderson, the man charged with bringing the franchise back to respectability... and, apparently, doing it on a shoestring budget.

Every GM has his hits and misses, and Alderson is no exception. His hits, though, which include acquiring starting pitchers Zack Wheeler and Noah Syndergaard and catcher Travis d'Arnaud, have the potential to be much more important long-term for New York's National League baseball club than are his misses. A group of slowly cultivated players are now, perhaps, coalescing into something greater than the sum of the Mets' parts. The 2015 roster will include (unexpected trades not counted for): an ace returning from injury, the 2014 Rookie-of-the-Year award winner, a Gold Glove center fielder, an All-Star (by default) second baseman, a top catching prospect who hit for four months last season like an All-Star, a first baseman who hit 30 home runs in just over 500 at-bats, an all-franchise third baseman looking for a do-over on a lost season, a former batting champ in right field, a left fielder for whom the team has moved in fences and imported a hitting coach, about 56 quality starting pitchers, and a power-throwing young bullpen.

It's not a can't-miss team by any stretch of the imagination, but it's not a hopeless one either. There's one thing missing from that above list, of course: a shortstop.

Oh, sure, the Mets have some internal "options". Do you want Wilmer Flores? A much ballyhooed prospect who hasn't shown much ballyhoo in the majors with the exception of last September... and you can't count September, really, because that's when major league rosters expand and teams let anyone and everyone pitch, either to save their stars for the postseason or see what their young players can do. Besides, when in the field Flores has hands of stone. For those who don't understand baseball metaphors, that's not a good thing. How about Ruben Tejada? We've seen that play for a couple of years now. We know how it goes. Hit a (very) little, field a (little) bit better.

So it's moment of truth time for Sandy Alderson and his staff. Although, granted, those not directly involved in such conversations can never be entirely sure which players teams are and aren't willing to trade, more likely than not a is deal out there to be had that would bring back a major upgrade at shortstop, if the Mets are willing to pay the price in both dollars and players. Are they, as their fans believe, too broke and/or cheap to make a move? Is Alderson sincere when he says there doesn't seem to be much out on the shortstop market, or is he just playing things close to the fleece vest, much like he did when swinging his deals for Wheeler and d'Arnaud?

It's not always that the biggest need for a team is so obvious it may as well be tattooed across the GM's face. Alderson and his staff have spent the last four years slowly rebuilding the franchise from the ground up. They are on the cusp of that respectability they so crave. The only thing standing in their way is the need to acquire a game-changing shortstop. Will they do it? Can they do it? Do they want to do it? Can they afford to do it? Those standing on the outside looking in won't truly know the answers to any of those questions until the entire offseason plays out, spring training begins, and we see who is standing between second and third for the Mets.

What is obvious to all, though, is this: the brass ring is in sight. The NL East is suddenly, surprisingly weak. The Mets have been building, they tell us, for 2015. Well, here it is. The roster is almost ready. There's one move left to make.

It's time for the Mets to show the baseball world that, for the fist time in nine years, they're serious. It's time for the Mets to go out and get themselves a shortstop.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

METS SHOULD FOLLOW ROYALS DECREE

Two years ago, a baseball team that had been non-competitive for far too long took a look at the young talent they were meticulously developing and decided they were one key piece away. So they took a calculated risk, trading their top prospect, a can't-miss kind of young player, a move designed to bring in that one piece they thought they needed to become a contender again. It was, to say the least, not a popular move among the media talking heads and Internet message boards.

The Royals, though, now turn to that one piece as they begin their first postseason since their World Championship of 1985, and "Big Game" James Shields takes the hill against Jon Lester and the Oakland A's, hoping to propel Kansas City past the one-game Wild Care playoff and into the ALDS. So was the trade worth it?

This isn't about what Wil Myers, the prospect Kansas City traded to get Shields, has or hasn't done since he was sent to Tampa Bay. It's about a team desperate to be relevant again doing what they had to do, maybe even overpaying, to bring in that one veteran player that could supplement the young core talent they had developed over the years. Think of the Mets as Royals 2.0, a notion that would horrify most Mets fans except for the fact that, hey, Kansas City is in the playoffs and the Metropolitans have all gone home for the winter. The $91 million Kansas City payroll isn't even that far off (though too far off for the tastes of many) from the Mets' $82 million payroll. 

But like the Royals, the Mets have been grooming a core of young players they hope will, sometime in the near future, make them contenders for years to come. The difference is that the Mets have been growing arms, and the Royals' young stars, for the most part, are positional players. So two years ago Kansas City spent a bat to get an ace. The Mets have a top prospect, too. He came over from Toronto in the R.A. Dickey trade and his name is Noah Syndergaard, a lanky fireballer who has talent evaluators across the game salivating at his potential.

But the Mets have arms to spare: Jacob deGrom, Matt Harvey, Zack Wheeler, Dillon Gee, Jon Niese, Rafael Montero, Jenry Mejia, Jeurys Familia, Vic Black, Carlos Torres... even must-see-hitter Bartolo Colon is still under contract for 2015. And while pitching arms are that most combustible of commodities, should the Mets look to do some "Big Game" hunting of their own this winter? There are two obvious needs on the Flushing baseball diamond, at shortstop and in either left or right field (depending on where Curtis Granderson ends up playing next year.) In a line-up that would currently feature All-Star Daniel Murphy, 30 HR-man Lucas Duda, injury-returning David Wright, rebound hopeful Curtis Granderson, Travis "Vegas" d'Arnaud, and Rey-Ordonez-as-a-center-fielder Juan Lagares, should the Mets spend their best chip on a supplementary bat, a truly reliable middle-of-the-order line-up threat missing from the aforementioned group? Or do you believe in Wilmer Flores and Matt den Dekker?

(A side note: while Mets fans, and likely Sandy Alderson, dream of Giancarlo Stanton, in players he would probably cost Syndergaard AND deGrom or Wheeler, not to mention an impact bat the Mets don't have. That price is almost certainly too steep to pay.)

This comes back to the Royals, and the question of what matters more: that their acquired piece, James Shields, has played a key role in returning them to October baseball? Or that the traded prospect, Wil Myers, may very well blossom into an All-Star hitter for years and years to come? What matters more, immediate glory or long term potential?

The Royals decided that they had waited for long term potential long enough, and immediate glory was their most pressing desire. The Mets should take note. They have a major league established core of pitchers already. Maybe Syndergaard turns out to be the best of the bunch. Maybe not. The wait for long term potential in Flushing, though, has also gone on long enough. Not all trades work out as well as the Shields trade has for the Royals, but if the gamble is never taken the pot can never be won. The Mets have been irrelevant for too many Octobers. The answer here is clear. If the hitter is out there to be had, and Syndergaard is the price tag, it's a deal and a gamble that the Mets must make.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Retirement of Derek Jeter: A Narrative Journey

And so the day will come when one final time, Derek Jeter, Yankee captain and shortstop for a generation, will doff his cap to the crowd and disappear off into the sunset, even as cries of “Derek! Don’t leave us!” echo through the Bronx.
Those cries shall go unheeded. Derek Jeter will leave the Yankees behind, leave baseball behind, leave all of us behind. And as the man has found himself standing in the blazing white spotlight for his entire adult life, a spotlight under which he has never wilted, never misstepped, never said the wrong line nor sang the wrong note… can we fault him his disappearance? His fade into the ether of memory? No, we can’t. And we won’t.
At first.
For before long, just a blink and a sigh and an offseason away, looms Old-Timer’s Day at Yankee Stadium, the day when the pinstriped heroes of yesteryear reunite and try to recapture just a sliver of the glory days of our youth. And while bleacher creatures and businessmen alike will applaud (politely) the usual parade of legends and Yankeeography subjects, all eyes will eventually drift to the hole between second and third, forever empty on the field and in their hearts, unoccupied and abandoned.
Many a pinstriped heart will break again in that moment of realization, as one by one the Bronx faithful realize: Derek Jeter has not returned for Old-Timer’s Day.
“Why not?” they wonder. “Doesn’t he love us? Doesn’t he care? Doesn’t he miss us as we miss him?”
And it’s a question that will ring again, louder and louder on and around all Old-Timers Days to come, days that all end up being entirely sans-Jeter celebrations. Finally, enough will be enough, and all but the most die-hard Jeter loyalists will turn. “Who needs him?” they’ll scoff on the radio and in the streets, in the bars and subways. “Who does he think he is? He’s nothing without us fans! We made him who he is!”
The obvious question, of course, will fail to rise and make itself heard through the self-reverent indignation of the sports fanatic, that obvious question being: “Just where the heck IS he?!”
On the day Derek Jeter retires, he climbs into his Ford Edge and drives to his Manhattan penthouse, locking himself in through the length of October. Derek Jeter, after all, should not be seen in public during the baseball playoffs if he is not playing in them; now that he’s retired, he sees no reason why that should change.
Once the playoffs are done and the world has looked away from baseball, Derek emerges, near unrecognizable through the coarse, wiry beard he’s sprouted over 30 days spent unshaven. He would wonder, if he cared anymore of such things, if nearly 20 years of beardless regulations has left his facial hair confused and uncertain so to how best to deploy.
But he no longer cares about such things.
He comes and goes only to attend meetings about Derek Jeter Books, the new book imprint being set up for him at a Manhattan publishing house. The publishing executives are all very excited about this imprint… although truth told, this new Jetes, all beard and flannel and distracted eyes, gives them pause.
Once he is satisfied his book imprint is shaping up the way he likes, Derek Jeter climbs back into his Ford Edge and drives it to an orphanage. He grabs a faded canvas bag from the trunk, rings the orphanage bell, hands his car keys to the astonished nun who opens the door, and walks away with his bag over his shoulder. Will the good sisters discover the check he left in the glove compartment? The one for his entire net worth? Perhaps, perhaps not.
Derek Jeter purchases an old beater from a used car dealership and hits the highway, heading north, his canvas bag in the backseat. He stops only for coffee, cigarettes, and to rescue an old basset hound limping along the side of the road somewhere in Vermont. He lets the hound sit shotgun. He names him Duke.
Derek Jeter and Duke make their way into the great state of Maine, stopping only for maple syrup and lobster and maybe some blueberries, until one night somewhere past midnight, along a stretch of wooded roadway at a spot just a few hours south of the Canadian border, Derek slows the used junker down to a stop and climbs out. He stands still, completely still, for more than ten minutes, and then he sucks in a great breath of air, tasting the bite of the great northeast on his tongue, and says simply, “Here.”
Derek Jeter and Duke leave their car on the side of the road and make their way into the woods. They will hike for several days, surviving on fish Derek spears from brooks and springs, and one night enjoying a luxury feast from the final bits of their lobster and maple syrup. Duke licks spilled syrup out of Derek’s beard as Derek blows a blues tune on an old tin harmonica dug out of the recesses of his canvas bag. Derek Jeter is content.
It is the next morning that Derek Jeter and Duke begin construction on their new home, right on that very spot. Using a hand axe from his bag and some whittlin’, Derek erects within a matter of days a simple yet cozy two-room log cabin, one room for livin’, the other for rockin’. Over the next several weeks, as winter closes in, Derek Jeter prepares their home for the elements: he collects firewood and stacks it on the side of the hearth, he kills and skins four bears, preserving their meat in mud pits packed with the newly fallen first snow and using the skins for rugs and for sleeping. He daubs the crevices of his new log home tight with clay and silt, insulation as the good Lord intended, and every night he and Duke hunker down in front of the hearth, an iron pot that Derek Jeter carried to his new home in his canvas bag perched above a roaring fire, full of piping hot bear stew.
Life, Derek Jeter decides, is good.
Derek Jeter doesn’t lie: that first winter is hard. He and Duke go through some rough, lean times. Companionship, though, is all they need, and as long as they have each other, Derek Jeter knows, they will be all right.
Spring comes, and with the thaw comes opportunity. Derek Jeter is excited: he now has a full summer to himself, at last, time he can use to properly spruce up he and Duke’s log cabin. Using naught but what the land has to give him (along with whatever his handy canvas bag has to offer) Derek Jeter crafts curtains, furniture, a new hearth and a bed for Duke. He mines salt from a nearby mine and sets to preserving half his daily hunt for the coming winter. Derek Jeter is learning.
One day in the middle of July, a man from Derek Jeter’s former life bursts in through the cabin door, bedraggled and sweaty but excited beyond compare. “Derek!” he cries. “It’s me! Your agent! I’ve found you! You have to come back to New York, Derek! Everyone is wondering where you’ve been! Is that an ax?”
That man is never heard from again.
Back in New York City, the publishing house that had once been so excited about the Derek Jeter Books imprint begins to lose faith. They had hoped for sports stories; they have received instead three packets of esoteric poetry, composed on parchment paper and tied crudely with brown string. There is no return address and each package is signed simply, “Derek”. The publishing house quietly cancels the imprint.
Winter approaches again and Derek Jeter has taken a bride. A comely lass of fifteen, the daughter of an old hermit from a cave fifteen miles away. She has a limp in the leg and a lazy eye, but Derek Jeter loves her grandly. She bears him seven children. Derek Jeter has his hands full now, expanding the homestead he and Duke once shared alone, making room for the children, raising them, playing with them. Life is busy. Life is full. Duke passes on. Derek Jeter mourns, but Derek Jeter is at peace.
Derek Jeter’s children are grown now, ages 8 to 18. Their mother has gone to a better place, taken by a harsh winter, and Derek Jeter is restless. He is sixty years old, his dog is gone, his wife is gone, his children are growing up and asking questions about the world outside their little log cabin. Why, even the cabin is plum worn out, and the roof won’t stand another patching. So Derek Jeter gathers up his brood and, with nowhere else to turn, they make their way to New York.
It is Old-Timer’s Day at Yankee Stadium. As has become tradition, wreaths have been laid by the outfield wall, just in front of the number 22. Up in the bleachers, a man with scraggly long, gray hair sits with seven rough-and-tumble children, ages 8 to 18. He is unrecognizable beneath his twenty-year old beard and under his faded Red Sox cap. His second-hand clothes attract no further inspection. Some of the children appear garbed in clothes crafted by hand. A woman in the next row moves a seat further away from them while the rest of the packed stadium observes the customary moment of silence for Derek Jeter, long gone but never forgotten.
Names are called, players are introduced, children of heroes lost are honored in memory of their fathers, former diamond warriors. The men who once played alongside Derek Jeter stand on the third base line and wave and smile. None will dare cross near shortstop position. They will walk around it in broad circles, superstitious even in old age. The current Yankee shortstop would avoid going to the position today if he could. They would, to a man, burst into tears should their fellow in the bleachers reveal himself to them. He does not.
It is the seventh inning. Derek Jeter leans over to his eldest son. “I’m going to get a hot dog,” he says, then gets up and walks away.
It is well past the end of the game. Derek Jeter’s children are still seated in the bleachers. The younger ones are getting scared. An usher approaches. “Hey, kids,” he says. “Ya gotta go.”
“We’re waiting for our dad,” the eldest replies.
“Who’s your dad?” the usher ask.
“Derek Jeter,” the eldest replies.
The children are kicked out of the stadium. That, they are told by several very serious looking security guards, wasn’t funny.
Derek Jeter’s children make their way, by hook or by crook, back to the cabin in Maine. The roof has fallen in again, but they are resourceful. Within a few days the roof is fixed and their home is habitable once more. Their father never returns. The little ones do not understand, but the eldest knows. His father is a wanderer, a vagabond, a restless and incomplete soul.
He must be free to seek his path. He must be free to move on. He must be free to find Derek Jeter.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE Predictions (And Spoilers!)

Not to be confused with predictions for Game of Thrones, the great HBO series that isn't quite as good as George Railroad Martin's books. Here there be spoilers:

Seriously.

Spoilers.

Right here.

What are you doing?

Do you WANT to be spoiled?

Okay, fine. You asked for it.

I'm going to do some real quick character predictions. Not many details. Feel free to fill in the blanks. These predictions, specifically, refer to where I'm predicting each character will be AFTER the full events of the published book series, all 7 of them, have transpired. This is where they will be in the epilogue, if there's an epilogue.

I expect, in time, to be proven SO SO SO SO wrong about just about all of these. So here we go, in no particular order:

1.) Jon Snow - Turns down the lordship of Winterfell and the chance at the Iron Throne (as he will be proven to be a surviving Targaryen, the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen.) But, as Maester Aemon of the Night's Watch before him, he'll turn down the throne to fulfill his duties as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch.

2.) Samwell Tarly - Lives out his days as Jon's chief advisor, as the Maester of Castle Black, a brother of the Night's Watch.

3.) Jaime Lannister - Takes the black. Rises to the rank of First Ranger of the Night's Watch.

(It should be said, I expect that the Night's Watch will still exist after the events of the book, obviously. Although the dangers of the far north will breach the Wall, post book 7 I expect there still to be a need for the Watch. What that specific need is, I couldn't say.)

4.) Benjen Stark - He's Coldhands. He dies.

5.) Bran Stark - Becomes one with the weirwoods. Never returns from beyond the wall.

6.) Jojen Reed - Dies North of the wall.

7.) Meera Reed and Hodor - Return to Greywater Watch after Jojen's death. Howland Reed raises the banners to go after and save Rickon. Hodor goes with, dies. Meera goes with, survives, returns home.

8.) Rickon Stark - Becomes Lord of Winterfell.

9.) Cersei Lannister - Joins the Silent Sisters after Tommen is killed.

10.) Tommen - Dead.

11.) Varys - Kills Tommen. Dies at the hand of Daenerys Targaryen while attempting to place the false Targaryen, Aegon, on the Iron Throne.

12.) Aegon Targaryen - Dies. Killed by dragon.

13.) Daenerys Targaryen - Wins the game of thrones. Ends up on the Iron Throne.

14.) Tyrion Lannister and Sansa Stark - The Lord and Lady of Casterly Rock. In a completion of her character arc (the girl obsessed with outer beauty becomes a woman who values inner beauty most of all after the attractive Joffrey and even Littlefinger turned out to be such scuzzbuckets) she reclaims her marriage to Tyrion by her own volition.

15.) Lady Stoneheart - Dies in flames, her hands choking the life out of Walder Frey.

16.) Theon Greyjoy - Freezes to death in the fields of the North, but not before revealing to the Northmen that Bran and Rickon are still alive.

17.) Asha Greyjoy - Recaptures Winterfell, kills the Bastard of Bolton. Claims the Seastone Chair in place of her dead uncles.

17.5) Asha's Uncles - Dead.

18.) Stannis - Denounced as a false king by Melisandre, dies trying (again) to capture Kings Landing, killed by Jorah Mormont.

19.) Jorah Mormont - Killed by the Onion Knight, Sir Davos.

20.) Sir Davos - Member of Daenerys' Queensguard.

21.) Brienne of Tarth - Lady Commander of Daenerys' Queensguard

22.) All the people between Daenerys and Westeros - Killed by dragonfire.

23.) Littlefinger - Becomes Master of Whispers for Daenerys.

24.) Princess Myrcella - Marries Prince Trystane of House Martell.

25.) House Martell - Opens the gates to King's Landing for Daenerys, betraying the false claim of Aegon Targaryen.

26.) Melisandre - Advisor to Daenerys Stormborn, First of Her Name

27.) Arya - Becomes Batman. Or a Jedi. One or the other.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Smashing - Ch. 01

This is worlds away. But I like her already.

Chapter 1
“Two million dollars?”
The clerk, a pimply faced teen with thick black glasses, nodded. “Yeah. Two million.”
Rebel ran her finger absently up and down the length of the flyer as she read it again. “Seems like a lot,” she said thoughtfully, “for playing a video game.”
The clerk, who Rebel had decided was named Clark, nodded. “Yeah, but it’s not for just playing a game. You have to win the tournament.”
“You have to win the tournament,” Rebel repeated. It didn’t seem real. She tried to be more specific. “The video game tournament.” Nope. Still didn’t seem like a real thing. She pointed to the banner header on the top of the flyer. “Who are these Triple Nova people?”
“Biggest pro gaming league in the world,” Clark said. Clark the clerk, whose name tag stubbornly continued to say Greg even though Rebel had decided that was not his name.
She wrinkled up her nose. “There’s a pro gaming league? How big could that be?”
Clark shrugged. “I dunno. Big enough for them to offer a two million dollar prize to the winner of a video game tournament?”
She nodded. “Touche.”
Clark pointed to the hand-rolled cigarette tucked behind her ear. “You can’t smoke that in here.”
“Is it lit? Don’t get all weird on me, Clark. It’s just for luck.”
“My name isn’t --”
Rebel turned away from Clark, leaning against the Game Shack counter. She read the flyer for the third time. “Triple Nova, Inc. presents,” she read aloud. “First annual… open tournament... July 4th weekend... Atlantic City...” she glanced up at Clark. “That’s convenient.”
He looked confused. “For who?”
Rebel didn’t bother to explain. “Two million dollar grand prize.” She looked up again. “What’s Super Smash Brothers?”
Clark’s eyes lit up. Geez, what a dork. “It’s this awesome fighting game by Nintendo, where --”
But Rebel cut him off with a wave of her hand. “You know what? I’ll google it.” She held up the flyer. “Can I keep this?”
“Uh, yeah,” Clark said. “We’ve got hundreds of ‘em.”
She nodded and shoved the flyer in the green canvas knapsack she wore slung over one shoulder, then glanced outside. The rain had stopped. “I gotta go,” she said. “Good talk, Clark.”
“My name isn’t --” But Rebel had already pushed past the pack of 12 year old boys playing XBox at the front of the Game Shack store and out the door. The sudden downpour was over and the sun was back out, just a beautiful spring day in Atlantic City, in the shadows of the hotel/casinos for which the city was famous. Though she was lost in thought, her feet carried her away from the shopping complexes that had sprung up just north of the beach a few years back, across Pacific Avenue, past the hotels, and onto the boardwalk. Her hands rode in the pockets of her hoodie, the black one with the pink and black striped sleeves, and her black ankle boots and dark jeans were not the standard boardwalk attire. But it’s where she always found herself headed when she set out to think, and right at that moment she was thinking about a video game tournament with an obscene cash prize being handed out just for being really, really good at playing some game called Super Smash Brothers.
This, she decided, was going to be the easiest money she had ever made.