Look, I don't care much about Glenn Beck's cancelled TV show and his insane theories about rassafrassa and gobbledygook. My reaction to almost any "conclusion" he draws can be summed up in two words: incoherent sputtering.
Although maybe this is just me. Maybe everyone else in the country, when listening to that audio clip he plays of Michelle Obama, instantly thinks, "She's talking about Spider-Man!" I am, however, going to lean heavily on the side of "I doubt that shit very very much."
What really offends me, though, is not his nonsensical hoody-hoo about Michelle Obama, Spider-Man, and (probably) Stalin. What offends me is when his sidekick practically sneers out the words, "I'm not some comic book geek."
Allow me, on behalf of all comic book geeks everywhere around the world, to offer to that particular comment a loud, heartfelt, "PHEWWW!" And furthermore allow me to clarify: Peter Parker remains Spider-Man in the pages of "Amazing Spider-Man". Peter Parker DIED in the pages of "Ultimate Spider-Man", a completely different and separate publication unaffected by the stories, actions, and events that occur within the pages of "Amazing". Glad to clear that up in two easy to understand sentences.
You may not be a comic book geek, Mr. I-Don't-Know-Your-Name-And-I-Really-Don't-Care-Even-Remotely-Close-Enough-To-Go-Ahead-And-Learn-It-In-The-Point-Five-Seconds-It-Would-Literally-Take-Me-To-Google-The-Words-"Beck"-"Glenn"-"Sidekick"-And-"Stupid". What you are instead, if I may be so bold as to point such things out, is the sycophantic and glad-handing hanger-on to an opportunistic, agenda-spouting, manipulative, ratings-starved crackpot. But I'm sure you're well compensated for your suckling. I hope that helps you sleep better at night.
Look, Glenn Beck and dino-buddy: can't you leave Spider-Man alone? Hasn't Julie Taymor done enough?
P.S. - You'll notice I did not use the words "conservative" or "republican" in my above description of Glenn Beck. I choose not to lump the republicans and conservatives I know and respect, intelligent human beings with political philosophies different in some ways than my own, in with that ego-maniacal marshmallow man. I was very, very close to using the words "tea-party towel boy", though. Still might go back and edit them in. Don't tempt me.
Wow. Hating on Glenn Beck feels like beating a dead horse. I think I'll stop now.
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